September 8, 2007

A New Demanding Mark-it: Higher Education

Read about the difficult life of the middle-aged academic:

New Demanding Mark-it

"So you are unhappy with your mark?
Sit down; you’ve caught me at an odd
moment. Yes, I understand you are working
full time and that you are a HECS paying
customer. I understand that a good mark is
desired, but we don’t off er warranties I am afraid.
You shouldn’t push the HECS thing too much, you
are after all an Arts student — the cheapest there is,
fi nancially speaking. After calculating face-to-face
teaching and expected reading over the semester,
this course costs less per hour than your new ring
tone. By the way, it sounds totally ‘book’. Don’t look
too surprised, I am up on the latest trends. Spell ‘cool’
on your mobile and the predictive speller will give
you ‘book’. See, I am not all nose-hair."


Plagiarism Day

"Today is dreaded plagiarism
committee day. The chair is cultural
studies Professor Gerhard, now
gesticulating at the front of the
room, proudly recounting his mastery
of cyber-tools. He’s an eager mid-30s
fox always ready to spruik-up technotherapies
for the digital age of education.
“What use is old technology, I mean like
actually meeting physically, in a square
room? So 20th Century!” the recently
elevated Professor opines, “Students have
taken the lead, and we have to catch
up. Let’s hold our seminars online.”
Sitting to the left is the philosopher Dr
Frostbite who can hardly defrost enough
breath to bother uttering a response.
“Bullshit,” she fi nally says. Then, more loudly,
“No, actually it’s fucking bullshit.” Her
Mancunian accent turns fuck into “fook”,
somehow giving the profanity a poetic lilt."


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